As is common with ASD, Boston has a hard time when his routine is changed. It’s a tough balance between knowing kids thrive on routine and that’s how Boston functions best, his routine makes him feel secure and safe and happy, but also realizing that his routines in life will without a doubt get thrown off and every human has to be able to go with the flow to some degree. Keeping his routine to a T is only doing him a disservice in the long run.
We’ve been working on this for a long time and I’m proud to say over that time span we have seen improvement. He does great when we go to the cabin now, (we hardly went to the cabin for about a year because he had such a hard time with staying overnight) or spend the afternoon at my Mom’s (although many times he melts down when we get home) but he still struggles with little things at home. Like sitting in different chairs, or others sitting in “his” chair, or going to bed if he hasn’t put each toy in its specific spot on his dresser. He even needs us to say the exact same words in the exact same way at bedtime or he will get really upset. But if he’s staying somewhere else he doesn’t need any of it. ??? Getting new clothes and especially new shoes is something he has to prepare for for hours before actually putting them on. He got a new winter coat and he screams everytime he sees it. haha ??? Someday I hope to be able to sit in any chair in my house without it upsetting Boston. It’s the small things, people. 🙂
So many question marks. 🙂
The thing is, I think we WILL find the perfect balance for Boston. Yes, sometimes we tweak his routine on purpose so that he learns how to adapt. No, it’s NEVER FUN. I actually dread it a little, because no one wants the wrath of a three year old whose chair you’re sitting in. YIKES.
We’re still trying to figure this whole thing out. There are so many different strategies that it can be overwhelming trying to carry them out in our daily life. Sometimes I feel like getting my kids fed and clothed and put to bed is a feat all on its own, so adding this whole other dimension to it sometimes feels impossible and just plain HARD. It’s been over two years that we’ve been at it though, and we will keep pushing ahead because there’s nothing that’s too hard if it helps our boy. ❤️